Caring for someone with depression
If you are caring for a loved one who’s living with depression, here are a few things you can do to aid in their recovery:
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Read about it
Learn about the disorder, how it presents itself, the different treatment options available—from credible sources such as WHO, APA, White Swan Foundation for Mental Health, Minds.
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Know your limitations
Taking care of someone with depression can be exhausting. Understand your own limitations, take breaks when necessary, and look after your own mental health as well.
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Open communication
Create a safe space for the other person, to talk to you openly about their thoughts and feelings, without the fear of judgment.
These are some of the things you can keep in mind:
Don’t force them to talk to you
Don’t say
“If you don’t tell me what’s wrong, how can I help you?”
Instead say
“You don’t seem to want to talk about it. That’s okay, but know that when you are ready, I am here for you.”
Why
“Give them time to become comfortable with talking about their feelings. Let them know you will be there for them, when they are ready to open up.”
Don’t make light of their distress
Don’t say
“Everyone has problems.”
Instead say
“I’m sorry you are going through a rough time.”
Why
“Give them time to become comfortable with talking about their feelings. Let them know you will be there for them, when they are ready to open up.”
Don’t force them to control how they are feeling
Don’t say
“Don’t feel bad, cheer up!”
Instead say
“It’s okay to feel bad. Let it out.”
Why
The emotions and thoughts that they are experiencing, are not in their control.
Don’t force them to do things they don’t feel like doing
Don’t say
“Go out and meet some people!”
Instead say
“It’s okay to feel bad. Let it out.”
Why
“Not only does depression impact energy levels, it also kills the motivation to do anything.”
Avoid tough love
Don’t say
“Do you even want to get better? Just snap out of it!”
Instead say
“I am worried about you. Is there anything I can do to help?”
Why
Recovery takes time, even with treatment. Be patient and supportive.
Avoid condescending and patronizing comments
Don’t say
“Oh look who’s up early!”
Instead say
“Hey, nice to see you woke up early. Would you like to get breakfast?”
Why
“When they make an effort and are able to complete a task, offer genuine encouragement and compliments.”
Compliments can backfire
Don’t say
“You are stronger than this.”
Instead say
“It’s hard to see you in so much pain. Do you want to talk about it?”
Why
“While your intentions may be from a place of care and concern, this may negatively impact their self-esteem and confidence.”