Caregiver’s Well-being

As a caregiver, you often prioritise others’ needs over your own, leading to irregular or missed meals. This can leave you feeling drained and low on energy. To keep yourself in good health and shape and try to prioritize balanced and regular meals. They’re important for your health and help you stay energised throughout the day. Read more about this here.

Few strategies that can help you with maintaining your eating schedule:

Plan and prepare meals ahead of time to save time and avoid last minute stress. Get help from family members or the care-recipient (if feasible) in weekly/ monthly meal planning, shopping, and preparation.
Create a meal schedule with reminders, like phone alarms or apps, to ensure you don’t skip meals, even amidst caregiving demands.

Remember it’s okay if plans don’t always go perfectly. If you prefer physical notes, you can even leave yourself reminders on sticky notes.
If possible, sit down and eat your meals with your care-recipient. This encourages both the caregiver and the care-recipient to eat at a set time and enjoy meals in a social, less stressful environment.
As far as possible, set clear boundaries during mealtime to ensure you take a break and eat. Delegate caregiving tasks to others during your mealtime.
Keep healthy snacks like cut-up veggies, fruit, nuts, etc. within reach for quick, nutritious options. Always have a water bottle or healthy drink nearby to stay hydrated and avoid fatigue.

For caregivers, mindful eating can promote a calm state of mind, improve energy levels, enhance focus and patience, and contribute to overall well-being amidst a demanding schedule.

Regular physical activity is key to maintaining overall health and well-being. It builds strength and endurance, helping you manage daily tasks more efficiently. Exercise also boosts mental health by releasing endorphins, which reduce stress and anxiety, improve sleep, and enhance mood and energy levels. Incorporating exercise into your routine improves physical fitness and supports a balanced mental state, making it an essential part of a healthy lifestyle.

To make exercise a part of your routine, apply the SMART goals technique:

Specific: Choose an activity you enjoy, such as brisk walking, yoga, or cycling, and decide when and where you will do it. For example, “I will walk in the park near my home in the morning.”

Measurable: Set clear goals to track progress, like “I will walk for 20 minutes, at least three times a week, and mark the days I walk, on my calendar.”

Achievable: Make sure that your goal is realistic, given your current schedule and strength, and create a practical plan to make it attainable. Eg: “Since my care-recipient doesn’t wake up before 9 a.m., I can use the morning to go to the park for a walk.”

Relevant: Ensure your goals align with your values, priorities, and needs and connect them to your larger purpose. “Engaging in physical activity will help me stay fit, which in turn allows me to take better care of myself and my loved one.”

Time-Bound: Define when you would like to start working to achieve your goals. Setting a timeline to assess progress and make adjustments to modify your goal. “I will start walking on Monday and mark the days I complete my walks. After 30 days, I will review my calendar to assess if I’ve achieved walking at least three times a week.”

SMART goals technique ensures your exercise plan is clear, manageable, and aligned with your health and caregiving needs, helping you stay motivated and consistent

Caregivers often experience significant stress from the relentless demands of their role, be it concerns about their loved one’s health, the challenges of managing medical appointments, the fear of making wrong decisions, or financial pressures related to medical costs and personal expenses. While stress during the caregiving journey is natural and expected, prolonged and unresolved stress can escalate into anxiety impacting the daily routine or lifestyle.

Over time, this unresolved and pent-up stress can lead to excessive worry about future challenges, such as worsening health conditions, financial insecurity, or one’s ability to cope. An anxious caregiver may experience a constant sense of dread, even when no immediate stressor is present. Repeated loss of control during unexpected emergencies can further heighten this stress, resulting in a sense of helplessness and generalized worry about their capacity to manage future situations. This is often compounded by guilt, as caregivers may feel they are not doing “enough.” Over time, such guilt can lead to ruminative thoughts, such as constantly second-guessing decisions or fearing they are failing their loved ones.

Warning Signs of Stress Turning into Anxiety:

Constant worry about caregiving, even during moments of rest.
Feeling restless, tense, or on edge all the time.
Difficulty concentrating due to racing thoughts.
Physical symptoms like chest tightness, rapid heartbeat, or nausea.
Avoidance of situations or people due to fear or dread.

There are many ways that an individual could cope with anxiety, like practising mindfulness, engaging in physical activity, journaling, talking to a supportive friend, or seeking therapy from a trained professional. Amongst these, relaxation techniques are often highly effective.

Relaxation techniques help reduce anxiety by calming the nervous system and counteracting the body’s stress response. Relaxation allows the body to enter a state of rest, reducing physical symptoms of anxiety and promoting emotional regulation. They lower heart rate, ease muscle tension, and promote deep breathing, which helps break the cycle of worry and rumination. Regular practice increases resilience to stress, improves sleep, and fosters a sense of control over anxiety.

To manage your anxiety, you can try the technique below, which is known as Jacobson’s Progressive Muscle Relaxation:

Find a quiet spot: Sit or lie down comfortably in a quiet place.
Close your eyes: Gently close your eyes to focus inward.
Tense and relax: Starting with your feet, tense each muscle group (feet, calves, thighs, etc.) for 5 seconds, then relax for 10 seconds.
Breathe deeply: Take slow, deep breaths throughout the exercise.
Move up the body: Continue tensing and relaxing muscle groups up to your face.

There are many ways that an individual could cope with anxiety, like practising mindfulness, engaging in physical activity, journaling, talking to a supportive friend, or seeking therapy from a trained professional. Amongst these, relaxation techniques are often highly effective.

Relaxation techniques help reduce anxiety by calming the nervous system and counteracting the body’s stress response. Relaxation allows the body to enter a state of rest, reducing physical symptoms of anxiety and promoting emotional regulation. They lower heart rate, ease muscle tension, and promote deep breathing, which helps break the cycle of worry and rumination. Regular practice increases resilience to stress, improves sleep, and fosters a sense of control over anxiety.

If you need more guidance, you can follow the audio available here.

You can also learn how to practice mindfulness with the help of expert-guided audios here.

As a caregiver, you may often find yourself weighed down by thoughts of “shoulds” and “what ifs”, making it difficult to take time for yourself without feeling like you’re neglecting your loved one. Many caregivers experience guilt, often believing they are not meeting their own or others’ expectations.

Examples of guilt-related thoughts include:

Am I doing enough?
Could I have prevented this injury or sickness?
Is it wrong for me to feel resentful, angry, or tired?
I shouldn’t feel this way.
I should be better at this.
I can’t go to the movies when my loved one is suffering; I need to stay home.

This guilt can weigh heavily and add to emotional stress.

To cope with these feelings and better understand your expectations, you can:

Note three expectations you had/have for yourself or that others had/have from you while caregiving.
Compare your caregiving experience with these expectations by asking yourself these questions:
1. Were my expectations of myself as a caregiver realistic, given my circumstances?
2. Am I holding myself to unrealistic standards that I wouldn’t expect from others?
3. What are my current limits in terms of time, energy, and resources?
4. How does striving for perfection impact my well-being and the quality of care I provide?

Once you have reflected on your expectations, you can redefine your caregiving journey using the following prompts:
1. How do I define success in my caregiving role? Is this definition reasonable and attainable?
2. What are my accomplishments today, no matter how small? How can I acknowledge and celebrate them?
3. How can I show kindness and compassion to myself when I make mistakes or fall short of my expectations?
4. What would I say to a friend or fellow caregiver who feels overwhelmed or guilty? How can I apply this same kindness to myself?
5. What can I learn from the challenges I face as a caregiver, and how can I use these lessons to improve my approach?
6. What are my strengths as a caregiver, and how can I use them effectively?
7. What affirmations or reminders can I use to counteract negative self-talk and perfectionist tendencies?

Self-compassion is the practice of treating yourself with the same kindness and understanding that you would offer to a loved one during times of struggle. It encourages a healthier mindset, enabling you to learn from mistakes without spiraling into guilt. This approach ultimately supports overall well-being and fosters personal growth. For more on how to practice self-compassion and care, check out this helpful resource: Be Compassionate Towards Yourself.

Grief is a natural and complex emotional response to loss. Grief for caregivers is a profound and multifaceted experience that often extends beyond the immediate changes in a loved one’s health. The experience of grief can involve the grief of losing personal time, independence, and sometimes even a sense of identity. Caregivers may lose out on their financial and emotional security and also experience a loss of social connections, leading to feelings of isolation.

Grief is a natural and complex emotional response to loss. Grief for caregivers is a profound and multifaceted experience that often extends beyond the immediate changes in a loved one’s health. The experience of grief can involve the grief of losing personal time, independence, and sometimes even a sense of identity. Caregivers may lose out on their financial and emotional security and also experience a loss of social connections, leading to feelings of isolation. Caregivers may mourn the loss of their future goals or dreams, as caregiving demands shift their priorities and alter their plans. These losses, though less tangible than death, can feel just as overwhelming. Navigating this complex grief requires recognition that it is not just the loved one’s health that has changed, but the caregiver’s world as well. Grief is deeply personal and can evoke various feelings.

An individual may experience one or many of the emotions listed below, which can arise from various causes of loss or hardship. These emotions may include:

Sadness: A deep sense of sorrow, often accompanied by crying or a feeling of emptiness.
Anger: Frustration or resentment, sometimes directed at the situation, others, or even oneself.
Guilt: Feelings of regret or remorse, often linked to things left unsaid or undone.
Anxiety: A sense of fear or unease, often about the future or what lies ahead after the loss.
Relief: In some cases, especially with caregiving, there can be feelings of relief when a loved one’s suffering ends, which may be accompanied by guilt.
Shock: A sense of disbelief or numbness, particularly if the loss was sudden or unexpected.

These emotions can vary significantly from person to person and may shift over time as individuals process their experiences. It’s important to acknowledge these feelings as part of the natural healing process.

Grief is a process or journey that takes time. While it’s commonly believed that there are distinct stages of grief (such as Elisabeth Kübler-Ross’ five stages-denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance), grief is unique to each individual. Some people experience all stages; others may not go through them in a specific order or may experience different emotions entirely. It’s important to understand that there is no “right” or “wrong” way to grieve.

When the feelings of grief visit you, you can engage with them as follows:

Close your eyes and imagine your grief as a wave. Think about its size, shape, and colours. How it rises and falls as you think about the different moments of your journey so far.
Gently draw the outline of your wave on a paper or canvas.
Paint your wave using colours that reflect your feelings. Add small details (for example, shading with darker colours to represent heavier emotions) to express the nuances of your grief through textures (like adding scribbles, small circles, or spirals) and layers that represent your emotions.
Step back and observe your artwork. Consider how it captures your feelings. Optionally, write a few thoughts about the experience.
Repeat this activity whenever these feelings get overwhelming.

Seeking support through counselling or support groups can be crucial in navigating this difficult journey. Please remember that you’re not alone.

Feelings of hopelessness and helplessness are common for caregivers, especially when their efforts seem ineffective or progress is slow, which can drain their motivation. When caregivers start to believe they can’t make a positive impact or control their situation, they also begin to struggle with stress and frustration. These heavy emotions fall under the umbrella of depressive symptoms.

Note:While these emotions may signify depression, this is not a diagnosis of any kind. Depression can only be diagnosed by a healthcare professional. People can experience depression symptoms without having a diagnosed disorder.

To cope with these heavy emotions, you can try to reflect on the following questions:

Have there been times in the past when you felt similarly and found a way to cope or improve your situation? What helped you then?
Who in your life, if anyone, has been a source of support or understanding during tough times? Can you reach out to them now? What kind of support or understanding do you need most right now?
How would you describe what you’d like to see happen for yourself right now? What one step, no matter how small, can you take to move closer to that goal?

Seeking help is a sign of strength, not weakness. Reaching out for support-whether from a friend, family member, or professional-can make a difference.

One can often feel angry or resentful when they perceive that their efforts in caregiving go unappreciated or when they’re overwhelmed by the demands of the role, like the stress of dealing with complex medical issues, navigating bureaucratic systems, or facing financial strain. These feelings can weigh heavily and add to emotional stress.

To cope with and better understand these emotions, you can try any one of the following activities:

Blow Out the Candle to Release Anger

Choose a calm place where you can sit comfortably.
Visualize a candle that feels special or soothing to you.
Take a few moments to think about your feelings and what you may be angry about.
Gently watch the flame and take deep breaths.
Now slowly blow out the candle and imagine releasing some of your anger and resentment.
Spend a moment in silence, allowing yourself to feel any emotions that arise.

Let Go with the Balloon of Anger

Choose a calm place where you can sit comfortably and relax without distractions.
Take a few moments to think about what is causing this anger.
Visualize a balloon that can hold this anger residing inside of you. Picture it in a color that feels right to you. As you exhale, imagine that you are blowing your anger into this balloon. Acknowledge those emotions without judgment as they fill up the balloon.
Once you are done, imagine tying up the balloon and letting it go. Gently watch the balloon as you take deep breaths, inhaling peace and calm, knowing that your anger has drifted away with the balloon.
Imagine the balloon in the sky. Picture it floating higher and higher, becoming smaller and smaller until it disappears.
Spend a moment in silence, allowing yourself to feel any emotions that arise as you let go. Embrace the sense of lightness and freedom that follows.

All emotions are real, but they are not permanent. This moment will pass.

Why should I call the helpline when I can talk to a friend or a family member?

While talking to a friend or family member may be comforting, there is a risk that they might bring their own biases and judgements to the conversation. There may also be things that we don’t want our loved ones to know—thoughts and emotions that cause us anxiety, guilt or shame; or painful emotions that they might not be able to handle.

The mental health professionals at Mann Talks are trained in the art of listening and offer a safe space without any bias or judgement. This will allow you to speak more freely than you would with someone you know. They are also trained to be able to understand your pain and situation, and help you resolve your issues.

Will the helpline tell my family about the things I share?

At Mann Talks, we prioritize confidentiality, dignity and respect of the caller. Our mental health professionals will not share anything you discuss with anyone else. The only time confidentiality may be broken is if the mental health professional feels you might harm yourself, or those around you.

In any other circumstance, what you share remains confidential.

What if I don’t like who I’m talking to?

It is important to feel comfortable with the mental health professional you’re accessing treatment from. If you feel like the professional you’ve been assigned/are speaking to isn’t a good fit for you, it’s okay to request a different one.

Don’t feel pressured to continue to talk to a professional you don’t like—after all, Mann Talks is for your wellbeing, and your comfort comes first.